Saturday 13 December 2014

Speeding in South Africa

On a previous visit to South Africa I had been warned of creeping police corruption, usually low-level stuff but disheartening for anyone who knows the country, and was alert to the possibility.  Maybe too alert.

Early in 2014 we were driving a section of the Johannesburg-Durban road, near Swaziland, that has frequent changes of speed limit as it passes between open country and small but scattered local communities surrounded by commercial forestry plantations.

A traffic cop appeared on the road.  “Hello, sir! Oh, you are in trouble here!” he said cheerfully, showing me the reading on the radar gun – 97 in an 80km limit. “You must cross the road to see my sergeant.”

A large sergeant sat in a picnic chair by the car - well-pressed uniform, gun, shiny shaved head. 

 - “Eh, this is very bad for you, my friend.  The fine is 500 Rand.”

 - “I’m very sorry, I’m not South African and I’m not used to the roads.  No excuse, I know.” (a bit of a fib as I have been to SA many times and used to live there).

 - “Oh, a visitor? Let me see your license and passport, - ah, British, eh? I should take you to the police station and fill in many forms, it could take a long time.”

(‘should’? ‘could’? - conditional, need not happen?)

 - “That sounds complicated.  Is there no other way?”

Narrowed eyes. 

 - “What do you suggest?”

(Uh-oh, attempting to bribe a policeman is certainly a worse offence than speeding).

 - “Ooh, I don’t know how stuff works here, I’m just a tourist.”

 - “Maybe I should just fine you here, eh?” Enigmatic smile.

A long pause – maybe he is also wondering who is going to initiate something we both know neither of us should be doing.  Should I get my wallet out?   Then,

 - “Tch. This is all too much trouble just for a tourist.  Just go, but slow down man, hey?”

 - “That’s very kind of you, thank you very much.”

 - “I’m a very kind sort of guy, sir, welcome to South Africa.”








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